The Simpsons Archive: Billboard Openings & Ralph Quotes

HD Openings - Billboard Openings and Ralph Quotes

Maintained by Don Del Grande (ddelgran@snpp.com)

Starting with episode LABF01, "Take My Life, Please," the show's "long" version of its opening credits introduced some new elements that changed from one episode to the next:

Something flying across the screen under/across the title;
A "quote" from Ralph when the Jebediah Springfield head falls on him;
A billboard, which shows one or more characters' heads along with words;
A "quote" from Barney when Bart lands on him with his skateboard;
The TV set at the end is now an HDTV set attached to the wall; in some episodes, it falls off of the wall, exposing some wires behind it

Unless otherwise listed, Treehouse of Horror episodes do not have any of these in their openings; also, MABF12, MABF22, NABF11, NABF20, NABF22, PABF20, RABF06, and RABF08 had "non-standard" openings

Episode	Billboard
LABF01	Krusty -- Now Doing Funerals	Krusty, wearing a black yarmulke
LABF02	Lost Child / No Reward	Milhouse
LABF03	Moe's Tavern / Now With Electricity!	Moe, holding an electric cord
LABF04	None
LABF11	Pay For Septuplets / Get Octuplets Free!	Dr. Nick, holding eight newborn babies
LABF05	Support Your Local Bullies	Kearney, Jimbo, and Dolph
LABF06	None
LABF07	Luigi's / Home Of The Breadstick	Luigi, holding a breadstick
LABF08	Principal Skinner / I Paint Houses	Principal Skinner, holding a paint roller
LABF10	None
LABF09	None
LABF12	Spider-Pig The Musical / Music by U2 and Alf Clausen	Spider-Pig (aka Harry Plopper), wearing tinted glasses
LABF13	If I Kill You, You Won't Pay / Dr. Nick Riviera	Dr. Nick, holding a bone
LABF15	Kwik-E-Mart / Porno Now On Lower Shelf	Apu
LABF16	The Leftorium / Next Right	Ned Flanders
LABF17	Don't Face This Christmas Sober	Duffman, in Christmas garb
LABF18	Dr. Otto's "Wellness Clinic"	Otto, in a white lab coat, holding a bong
LABF19	Springfield Retirement Castle / Get Me Out Of Here!	Grampa
MABF01	None
MABF02	None
LABF20	The Fox Network / Still Sucking After 20 Years	Maggie
MABF03	None
MABF05	None
MABF06	None
MABF04	None
MABF07	Dr. Nick's / Home of the One-Hour Sex Change	Dr. Nick
MABF10	None
MABF08	Duff 200 / Nothin' But Booze	Duffman
MABF09	Death and Taxes / Two Things I Avoid	Mr. Burns
MABF14	Text me your lunch money / eBully.com	Jimbo
MABF13	Please Abduct This Child / - Call Homer	Bart
MABF11	Springfield Retirement Castle / New Vacancies Every Flu Season	Grampa, Jasper, and "Crazy Old Man"
MABF15	Krusty's One-Year Sobriety Special - Cancelled	Krusty, holding a martini
MABF21	Prof. Frink's Sex/Kill-Bot / Make sure switch is in correct position	Professor Frink and a robot
MABF17	Springfield DMV / Wait Time: 38 Hours (changing to 39)	Patty and Selma
MABF18	Repeat of LABF01, but faded and with a "BANKSY" graffiti tag
NABF01	None
NABF02	Springfield Kwik-E-Mart / Thoughtless Gifts for People You Don't Like	Apu, wearing a Santa hat
MABF19	Luxury Cars Missing One Window / No Cops	Snake, holding a crowbar
NABF03	Spuckler Daycare Center / Just toss 'em in the pile	Cletus, Brandine, and a pile of kids
NABF04	None
NABF05	Springfield Seafood / 50% More Fish Eyes	Blinky
NABF06	Springfield Dinner Theater / Dr. Hibbert and Mrs. Skinner butcher Driving Miss Daisy	Dr. Hibbert and Agnes Skinner
NABF07	None
NABF08	Springfield Mall For Rent / Free Retail Space With Every Purchase	Springfield Mall
NABF09	Springfield Wax Museum / We Fixed Our Air Conditioner	Three wax figures with melted faces
NABF10	Do Not Accept Candy From This Bunny	Moe, in a pink rabbit costume, carrying an Easter basket
NABF12	None
NABF13	Mother's Day Special / I'm Half Off	Nelson's mother
NABF14	Gain Weight Now / Ask Me How	Homer, eating a giant sandwich
NABF15	None
NABF16	None
NABF17	Learn to Speak Parrot	Captain MacAllister, with a parrot
NABF21	30 Lost Cats / Call Me	Cat Lady
PABF01	None
PABF02	Duffman is Mark Twain / Springfield Playhouse	Duffman
NABF18	Bah Humbug & Happy Hanukkah / Christmas Ignorers United	Mr. Burns and a rabbi
PABF03	Reelect Quimby / The Devil You Know for 18 Years	Mayor Quimby
PABF04	Winter at Squidport / Dead Seals Wash Up Daily	The "Springfield Squidport" arch
PABF05	Bumblebee Man, Brockman and Booberella / Your New Channel 6 News Team	Bumblebee Man, Kent Brockman, and Booberella
PABF06	McBain's Valentine's Day Kick-Assacre / Opens February 14th - Closes February 16	McBain, with gun and heart-shaped candy box
PABF07	The Kwik-E-Mart / Yesterday's Food at Tomorrow's Prices	Apu
PABF09	None
PABF09	None
PABF10	None
PABF11	Fox - 25 years of televised stuff	No One
PABF12	None
PABF13	None
PABF15	Sleazy Sam's / Remember that name	Sleazy Sam
PABF21	McBain Capital / Consider this a hostile takeover	McBain
PABF16	None
PABF19	Springfield / Unsolved Murder Capital of the World	Fat Tony
PABF22	This Is Not Santa / Do Not Let Him In	Snake
PABF18	None
RABF02	Hair Bone Removal Clinic / Live the Bone-Free Life!	Sideshow Mel
RABF03	Krusty: Live from Rehab! / 8 PM	Krusty
RABF04	None
RABF07	Springfield Isotopes Spring Training Tickets Available / Watch Me Get Ready!	A Springfield Isotopes player
RABF05	Dr. Nick's Valentine Hearts / Human, Cow, or Mystery	Dr. Nick
RABF09	Cletus' Road Kill Diner / It's Fender-Pickin' Good!	Cletus
RABF10	Herman's Antiques (and Guns)	Herman
RABF11	None
RABF13	None
RABF12	If You Haven't Sent Your Mother Flowers / It's Too Damn Late!	Principal Skinner and his mother
RABF14	None
RABF17	None
RABF20	Why Are You Moving Yourself? / Bully & Son Moving	Kearney and his son

Episode	Opening Flyby	Ralph	Barney	TV Fall?
LABF01	Crow, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	Yes
LABF02	Crow, Right to Left	It's dark	Hey!	No
LABF03	Crow, Left to Right	I see stars	Bart!	Yes
LABF04	Crow, Right to Left	None	None	No
LABF11	Crow, Left to Right	None	(Burp)	Yes
LABF05	Crow, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
LABF06	Crow, Left to Right	None	None	Yes
LABF07	Crow, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	Hey!	No
LABF08	Crow, Left to Right	It's dark	(Burp)	Yes
LABF10	Crow, Right to Left	None	None	No
LABF09	Crow, Left to Right	None	None	Yes
LABF12	Crow, Right to Left	It's dark	Hey!	No
LABF13	Crow, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	Yes
LABF15	Shari Bobbins, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
LABF16	Stork carrying Maggie, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	Yes
LABF17	Homer in a balloon chair, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
LABF18	Shari Bobbins, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
LABF19	Stork carrying Maggie, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF01	Homer in a balloon chair, Right to Left	None	None	No
MABF02	Agnes Skinner riding a bike, Right to Left	None	None	No
LABF20	Ralph, being dragged by a kite, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF03	Spider-pig swinging on webs, Left to Right	None	None	No
MABF05	The Simpsons in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car	None	None	No
MABF06	Agnes Skinner riding a bike, Right to Left	None	None	No
MABF04	Crow, Left to Right	None	None	No
MABF07	Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF10	Ralph, being dragged by a kite, Right to Left	None	None	No
MABF08	Lance Murdoch riding a motorcycle, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF09	Kang and Kodos, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF14	An aging Fox satellite, Left to Right	Nighttime	Hello	No
MABF13	Bumblebee Man, Right to Left	Hello, darkness	Morning!	No
MABF11	Krusty flying from a trapeze to Sideshow Mel, Right to Left	Aaaaaaahhh!	Hello	No
MABF15	Ned Flanders as an angel, Bottom to Top	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF21	Otto driving the school bus, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF17	Mr. Burns piloting a dirigible, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF18	Crow carrying some sort of rodent in its mouth, Left to Right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
MABF20	Crow, Left to Right	None	None	No
NABF01	Crow carrying a three-eyed fish by its claws, Right to Left	None	None	No
NABF02	Fox News helicopter, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	Yes
MABF19	Fox News helicopter ("Merry Christmas from Fox News...but no other holidays"), right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF03	Crow, right to left, with Martin wedgied atop a flagpole	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF04	Mr. Burns flying a Wright Brothers-era airplane, with Smithers hanging onto the tail, right to left	None	None	No
NABF05	Moe, ski jumping, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF06	Pieman and The Cupcake Kid, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF07	Santa's Little Helper jumping up to catch a Frisbee, right to left (the Frisbee comes in from the left)	None	None	No
NABF08	Santa's Little Helper flying Snoopy's doghouse, left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF09	Professor Frink on a jetpack, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF10	The Planet Express ship (from Futurama, left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF12	Maggie on a paper airplane, right to left	None	None	No
NABF13	Homer riding a flying carpet, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF14	Hank Scorpio flying a jet, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF15	Princess Penelope on a unicorn (suspended by ropes), right to left	None	None	No
NABF16	Otto sliding down a rainbow, left to right	None	None	No
NABF17	Arnie Pye (who falls out of his helicopter), left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
NABF21	Groundskeeper Willy with a leaf blower, left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF01	Krusty (left to right) and Sideshow Mel (right to left) on trapezes	None	None	No TV
PABF02	Bumblebee Man being chased by bees, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	None	No
NABF18	One of Kang/Kodos in Santa's sleigh, left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	None	No
PABF03	Maggie in a diaper and a "2012" sash, falling with a parachute; Grampa in a diaper and a "2011" sash, being pulled up by a rope	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF04	Ned Flanders, being carried by a gargoyle, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF03	A Space Shuttle (sputtering, and marked "For Sale $1"), right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF06	Ralph, as Cupid (shooting an arrow through the "O" in "Simpsons," which turns into a red heart), left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF07	None, but the title includes the words "500th Episode" and "The most meaningless milestone of all!"	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF09	Bart descending a beanstalk with a harp and goose	None	None	No
PABF08	Repeat of NABF07	None	None	No
PABF10	Repeat of NABF12	None	None	No
PABF11	None, but the title includes "Now Entering Oregon" beneath it	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF12	None	None	None	No
PABF13	Repeat of NABF21	None	None	No
PABF15	The Channel 6 News helicopter, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF14	Repeat of PABF09	None	None	No
PABF21	Repeat of NABF17	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF16	None	None	None	No
PABF19	Homer wearing a muumuu, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF22	Sideshow Bob, in a Wright Brothers Flyer that catches fire, in from the left and then straight	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
PABF20	None	None	None	No
RABF01	Homer, in Santa's sleigh, pulled by Snowball II and Santa's Little Helper and pushed by Stampy, left to right	None	None	No
PABF18	Itchy, in a plane, with Scratchy tied to the propeller, right to left	None	None	No
RABF02	Spider-Pig (slinging webs), left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
RABF03	Radioactive Man and his bride, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
RABF04	Angel Flanders, left to right	None	None	No
RABF07	Repeat of NABF08	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No TV
RABF05	Repeat of MABF08	None	None	No
RABF06	None	None	None	No TV
RABF09	A crow (grabbed by King Homer atop the Empire State Building), left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
RABF10	The Easter Bunny and a leprechaun, from the bottom	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
RABF08	None	None	None	No TV
RABF11	Crow, Left to Right	None	None	No TV
RABF13	Repeat of NABF09	None	None	No TV
RABF12	Spider-Pig (shot at by a laser in mid-air), left to right	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No
RABF14	None	None	None	No
RABF17	Repeat of NABF16	None	None	No TV
RABF20	Superintendent Chalmers on a lawn chair with a giant balloon, right to left	Aaaaaaahhh!	(Burp)	No

Last updated on September 29, 2013 by Don Del Grande (ddelgran@snpp.com)