Bart Simpson

"Interview with Bart Simpson"
© Fox 61, website, 1998.

1)      Q: How old are you
        A: Ten 

2)      Q: What's your favorite hobby? 
        A: Acting immature. 

3)      Q: Is it tough growing up with two sisters? 
        A: Those aren't sisters. They're Martians.

4)      Q: Do you like school? 
        A: Not particularly .

5)      Q: What's your favorite subject in school? 
        A:  Lunch time.

6)      Q: Is it tough growing up with a name like Bartholomew?
        A: Call me that again and I'll punch your face, man.

7)      Q: What's your favorite color?
        A: Chocolate 

8)      Q: If you could do absolutely anything, what would you most like to do? 
        A: I'd like the phone numbers of all the world's leaders, so I could make prank phone
         calls to them.

9)      Q: Who, in your family, do you most like to play pranks on?
        A: Can you keep a secret? (All of them) 

10)     Q: What's you favorite TV show? 
        A: The Krusty the Clown Show.

11)     Q: What would you like to be when you grow up? 
        A: I'd like to be a superhero --- Bartman . 

12)     Q: Who's your favorite role model?
        A: Otto, my school bus driver. He has the coolest tattoos, man. 

13)     Q: What do you like to do for fun? 
        A: Read comic books, watch TV, eat snacks, watch TV, make prank phone calls, watch TV,
        play video games, made rude noises, and watch TV. Did I mention watch TV?

14)     Q: Do you have a favorite movie? 
        A: Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie.

15)     Q: What's your full name ? 
        A: Bartholomew Jo-Jo Simpson.

16)     Q: What's your biggest gripe about home life? 
        A: Not enough escape routes, man.

17)     Q: What has been your biggest disappointment as a kid?
        A: Do you realize there has not been one cool war during my entire lifetime? Sometimes
        I lie in bed at night, worrying there never will be. 

18)     Q: Do you think rock albums should be labeled  for offensive content? 
        A: Of course  albums should be labeled, man. Why waste money on music that won't
         disgust your parents.    

19)     Q: What do you think you'll be when you grow up?
        A: I'll either be the president of the United States or a master criminal. Or both. 

20)     Q: How has school helped you in life? 
        A: What? I have no time for trick questions. 

21)     Q: Complete this sentence: "I'm glad I ..."
        A: ... have eight more years  before I can be tried  as an adult.

22)     Q: If you could pick your parents, what qualities would they have?
        A: They'd be wealthy, generous, small, and very, very slow. 

23)     Q: Why do you think you get into trouble at school?
        A: Because of dirty squealers, vengeful teachers, and diabolical principals. I'm
          constantly amazed how nobody in the world has a sense of humor except me.

24)     Q: What photos do you have from your childhood? 
        A: I mostly have police composite drawings.

25)     Q: Where were you brought up?
        A: In Springfield. Watch the program, bonehead.

26)     Q: What is the most valuable piece of advice Homer ever gave to you? 
        A: Never never never change your story. 

27)     Q: Was Homer a good role model?
        A: Yes. Without his example I would still think that you need to work  for a living.

28)     Q: Has Homer ever hit you? 
        A: Hell yeah! but he only hits me out of love.

29)     Q: Do you see Homer as a friend?
        A: If we were peers, I think he would be more of a hanger - on than a friend.

30)     Q: What have you inherited from Homer?
        A: I dunno. Gift of gab?

31)     Q: What was Homer's finest moment ?
        A: The time he stepped in a bucket and fell down the stairs and landed on his own
         birthday cake. That was fantastic !

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Last updated on December 23, 1999 by Jouni Paakkinen (