The Simpsons-L Mailing List FAQ

Version 1.10

Before we get too far, curl up with a nice cold Duff beer and some heavily salted snack treats, and take a few moments to go through this F[requently] A[sked] Q[uestion] list. It'll cover details about how to post to this list, some simple etiquette guidelines, and recap some common discussions going on on the list lately. Before we go any further, we remind you that the unofficial-but-pretty-much-authoritative Simpsons resource on the internet is The Simpsons Archive. Learn it, live it, love it.

Q: I'm a lawyer for FOX. Who's responsible for all of this?
A: The list is "moderated" by three people. The senior co-moderator is a woman named Trissa in New Zealand, who, believe it or not, is the voice of "the point after touchdown" in "We Put the Spring in Springfield" from "Bart After Dark." Or at least she should be.

The co-moderator emeritus of the list is Jouni from Finland. (Fun Fact: In Finnish, "Jouni" actually translates to mean "Milhouse.") Jouni won the "Be a Co-Moderator" trivia quiz by knowing the exact square footage of Mr. Burns' mansion, and the vehicle identification number of Lenny's car. Gosh, he's smart.

The junior co-moderator is a grad student in Korea (where American cartoons are made) known as Kushibo who likes to use members of Simpsons-l as research subjects. He also claims to work in public broadcasting but all we know for sure about him is that his name is Nate, he is pathologically digressive, and he makes money on the side by selling the contents of AKOM Studio's garbage and recyclables on E-bay.

Q: "Moderated?" Isn't that a polite way of saying "censorship?"
A: Actually, it's a polite way of saying "Perhaps you'd rather have your mailbox full of '$$$MAKE MONEY FAST$$$' ads and posts saying "test." The moderators primarily filter out the spam and the junk, leaving you with pure Simpsons goodness. See below for details about posting messages.

Q: What's the difference between this and alt.tv.simpsons?
A: Well, the idiot quotient is a lot lower here, largely due to the fact that this list is moderated, and thus, less likely to have long, racist diatribes and moronic "you suck" posts than is a.t.s. And you don't need newsgroup access to play with us, so people exploiting their employer's computers for non-business purposes, like me, can join in.

Q: My system can't handle 50 or more messages each day. Can I still be in the club?
A: Lucky for you, when Bill Gates bought out our internet provider, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet, he made available a "digest" version that collects all the day's messages in one big wad and sends them to you all at once. If you want to find out more, go to our web interface at http://reactor.snpp.com/mailman/listinfo/simpsons-l.

Q: O.k., I think I got it now. What are the basics of reading and posting messages?
A: I'm glad you asked, because here are:

The Basics

Q: I've had it with your bad attitude! How do I get off this list?
A: You can't. Don't forget, you're here forever. If you must go, however, go to the web interface at: http://reactor.snpp.com/mailman/listinfo/simpsons-l, log in, and click the "unsubscribe" button. If you can't remember your password, you can request it on the same page.

Or, simply send an e-mail to simpsons-l-request@reactor.snpp.com and type unsubscribe in the "Subject" field. You will receive a confirmation e-mail within a few hours.

Q: Wouldn't this be a great place to segue into a new section?
A: It sure would be. How about we talk about some etiquette?

Q: I'm sorry. I'm the "Q:" guy. I'm not allowed to answer any questions, am I?
A: No, I guess not, you moron.

Etiquette

Q: Hey! I flamed some punk who said "The Principal and the Pauper" wasn't very good and called him a nasty name, but my post never showed up. What gives?
A: That's the new swearing filter. Posts with obscenities won't get sent out. There are a number of explanations for why this policy exists (Remember, it's a cartoon, and there are a number of 12 and 13 year olds on this list, too), and there isn't much you can do about it. Don't bother sending angry posts about "censorship" and "personal responsibility," since we've heard them all before. If you feel that you cannot truly express your thoughts about the Simpsons without obscenities, try alt.tv.simpsons. (You might also try getting a thesaurus.) A good rule of thumb is: if they wouldn't use the word you're thinking of it the show, don't use it in your post.

Q: If I'm responding to a post, should I include the relevant part of the message that I'm responding to, either at the beginning or end of my post (depending upon my personal preference), so that others can see what I'm talking about instead of just saying "Yeah!" and nobody knowing what I just said "yeah" to?
A: Yes. You're getting quite good at this.

Q: Do I really have to know the episode numbers and names? That seems awfully nerdy.
A: Oh, and being on a mailing list for a cartoon isn't? While it's helpful to know the names of the episodes (in case you don't know them, the names are the book "A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family" and its sequels or you can look them up for free at http://www.snpp.com/episodeguide.html) and people frequently use them, you can get by just describing the plot. People will figure it out.

Q: Is it o.k. if I use common 'net abbreviations like "ROFL" for "rolling on the floor laughing" or "" for grin? And can I also use those weird smiley faces made out of punctuation marks? [And by the way, did you notice that " Q :-{[" turned sideways looks like Jebediah Springfield wearing a coonskin cap?]
A: Use whatever you want. [And no, but now that you mention it . . .]

Q: I have this really cool [sound file / graphic / nude picture of Capt. Janeway]. Can I post that to the list?
A: No. Don't send any attachments along with your messages to the list. They take up a ton of room and slow everything down, and won't get posted anyway. You can ask for or offer various items like this on the list, but make the actual exchange via private e-mail.

Q: HOW ABOUT IF I TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS LIKE THIS? IS THIS OK?
A: WHY YOU LITTLE . . HOW ABOUT IF I BREAK OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY AND STUFF IT SO FAR UP YOU'RE BUTT THAT IT COMES OUT YOUR NOSE? It's annoying-- the equivalent of shouting at someone. Don't do it.

Q: Wouldn't it have been more appropriate to say "your butt" instead of "you're butt" in that last sentence? You see, "you're" means "you are" and . . .
A: That's another reason not to like you. By all means, try to spell and punctuate correctly, but recognize that people make typos sometimes. It's not necessary to correct them unless you really want to look compulsive. The same goes for quotes. Unless somebody actually asks to have misquotes corrected, you probably don't need to tell them it's "neighborinos," not "neighborinas." Unless you're a member of alt.nerd.obsessive.

Q: What's this reference to "OFF" that I keep seeing in some posts?
A: It's an abbreviation for "Our Favorite Family" and is used as a shorthand to describe the Simpsons. Other common abbreviations you'll see are "MG" for "Matt Groening," "SLH" for "Santa's Little Helper," "SSB" for "Sideshow Bob," "SNPP" for "Springfield Nuclear Power Plant" or "The Simpsons Archive," "CBG" for the Comic Book Store Guy. Some people have recommended having an abbreviation for the "Springfield Heights Institute of Technology," but we feel that's too juvenile.

Q: People keep talking about "capsules." What does that mean?
A: They're referring to the outstanding capsule summaries of each episode found here. These can be a great source of information about each individual episode. Except when they're wrong.

Q: Can I discuss Futurama?
A: Please don't. Of course you can talk about Futurama and discuss it in relation to The Simpsons, but posts solely about Futurama are considered off-topic.

Q: I've been reading this FAQ forever. It's about time we got into some good Simpsons-related stuff.
A: Well, Professor, that's not a question, but you'll probably enjoy this next section:

Simpsons Stuff

Q: Can you elaborate?
A: The first problem can be remedied by reading through the general Simpsons FAQ, known as "L.I.S.A." (because calling it S.U.P.E.R.I.N.T.E.N.D.E.N.T. C.H.A.L.M.E.R.S. would take up too much room). It can be found at http://www.snpp.com/guides/lisa.html, and will answer common questions like:

When did Dr. Marvin Monroe die?
How much does Maggie cost when scanned at the register?
What's Homer's / Bart's middle name?
What's the Comic Book Guy's real name?
When did Selma marry Lionel Hutz? and so on.

If you ask a question, like one of those above, that is clearly answered in either this FAQ or in L.I.S.A., it will be clear to everyone else that you haven't done your homework, and you're likely to get ignored, flamed, or, if you're really unlucky, have you intelligence compared unfavorably to Ralph Wiggum's.

Q: That's only one no-no. What's the other one?
A: Bringing up threads that have been beaten to death numerous times already. Here's a sampling:

"Where is Springfield?"
The by-far, #1 topic to annoy people with. Asked about 10 times a month. Guaranteed to get one or more people to pop a blood vessel. Yes, we know there's a Springfield in Illinois; yes, we know that Springfield is xx miles from Ogdenville, which was shown on a map in the Monorail episode; yes, we know Springfield is 2000 miles from Arlen, Texas; yes, we know Springfield's postal abbreviation is NT. In the interest of not debating this point forever, the official position of this list is: The show is set in America in the very near future where, like the European Union, all state borders have been eliminated. Thus, Springfield is in the State of America. Don't like that answer? Tough.

"Is [Smithers / Milhouse / Comic Book Guy / Bart / Maggie / SLH ] gay?"
Lately, this has become even more annoying than "Where is Springfield." Here's the consensus to date: Smithers is gay. Producer David Silverman has confirmed that Homer's former secretary Karl and John (Waters) are also gay. That's it. Milhouse, being a pre-pubescent 10 year old boy, has no particular sexual orientation. Any evidence from "Lisa's Sax" that Milhouse has homosexual tendencies is completely canceled out by Milhouse's crushes on Lisa and Samantha Stanky. The Comic Book Guy is not gay, but women rightly find him revolting. Lenny and Carl are not gay, they're just good friends. Snowball II is gay, but has been fixed, so it doesn't really matter. Xtopolapaqetl, the big stone head from "Blood Feud," is gay. There. End of discussion.

"Is there going to be a Season 17 / a Simpsons movie?"
Every few weeks, someone claims to have "heard" somewhere that the show is getting cancelled, or that a Simpsons movie is going to be made. This we know: Season 17 is very likely, and so is the movie. However, the movie won't be made before the series has ended (see this page for details). That's all we've got. Of course, not really knowing what's ahead means you can look forward to lots of "the movie should be live action instead of animated," and "you suck and your information's wrong" and "South Park is stupid."

"This [season, episode] is the worst ever."
There's a lot of this on the list. Every episode seems to be the worst ever to some people. This is the pattern you'll tend to see:

Post 1: "Last night's episode really sucked. The show's really gone downhill."
Post 2: "Yeah!" (with either all of post 1 included or nothing at all).
Post 3: "This whole season sucks. They should cancel the show right now."
Post 4: "Why is everyone so negative. Aren't you all fans? I thought this last episode was great, probably one of the best ever."
Post 5: "Does anyone know where the X-Files list is?"
Post 6: "DOOOD!!! SIMPSONS RUUUUULE!!!! WHERZ SPRINGFELD????"
Post 7: "Yeah!" (with either all of post 6 or nothing at all).

Repeat ad nauseam until next new episode.

Q: Is that it? Can I go now?
A: Not yet. You need to know a few more things.

Q: Like what? This thing is getting so long, I can't keep it in my mailbox.
A: Hey, don't sweat it. This FAQ, along with lost of other interesting junk about this list is always available on the Simpsons-L homepage. That way, it can eat up somebody else's bandwidth, but still be available at a moment's notice. Also, photos and information on list members is available at The Simpsons-L Member Page.

Q: O.k., got it. Anything else?
A: Questions about the list itself can be sent to the moderators at moderators@snpp.com. (that's not too hard to remember, now is it?)

Q: Yeah, and?
A: Umm. . . this FAQ was created by Brian Bergevin, a longtime Simpsons fan and attorney in Buffalo, New York, but it is currently maintained by the moderators. If you've got questions, comments, or suggestions about the FAQ, e-mail them.

Q: (Impatiently) Anything ELSE? Don't these things usually end with copyright restrictions and stuff?
A: Not this one. None of this material is copyrighted. Plagiarize it at will! Submit it as an essay to your 10th grade English teacher and tell her YOU wrote it! (I'll vouch for you if anyone asks) Option it to Hollywood as a screenplay! There. Now go embiggen everyone with a cromulent post. . .

For posting rules in a nutshell, please refer to The Simpsons-L Posting Guidelines.